i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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