Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
