Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We named our party play list daddy issues
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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