i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I AM VODKA MAN
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
