So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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