Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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