I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Oh god it's open bar.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
