Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
