Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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