I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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