:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
