Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
