There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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