she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
