I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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