Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
