are you still at the devil's house?
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
