It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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