yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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