The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
