shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
