One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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