hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
