called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize