So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize