Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I have fence marks all over my body
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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