Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
