That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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