Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
