I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize