Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
