he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
