you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
