Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
