people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
