I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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