Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
