worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's official drugs can't kill me
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
