At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I need to stop coming to work sober
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
