hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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