so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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