I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
