flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
