is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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