How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
