it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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