it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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