Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
