Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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