TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
