Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize