We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
