I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So squirting runs in the family.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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