so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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