So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
