I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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