it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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