the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
