Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
